new chapter

i'm not sure where i'm headed to yet. it's now down to two things, money or heart. money just seems to be the wiser decision at this stage of my life. i followed my heart for 8 years and i have to admit that i feel it was a bit of a waste. i stayed with my first job out of loyalty and love for country. if it actually weren't for my boss who gave up, i would probably stay with him for 10 years. i'm left broke and i have no savings. so actually, what's happening now is a blessing because i'm pushed to move forward.

i just have this fondness for locally-owned companies who are thriving in the IT industry. there's so much local talent, creativity, and skill. and yet everyone's abroad or working for a big multi-national company. i don't see the social relevance in being a corporate slave but that's just me.

i'm currently trying to sort out my priorities. in the past, what was important to me was time and happiness. my priority more than financial success was emotional stability. i wanted to be able to work and play at the same time. where did that leave me? everyone else who chose the other path seem to be doing well right now. it's not that i envy them but it just makes me wonder why i had these priorities in the first place. because if i had chosen this, why am i unfulfilled?

i have the option at the moment to follow my heart once again. the other path, there's no assurance yet. but there's a 98% chance for me to follow the other path now. it breaks my heart but i need to. when i think of my parents, i feel regret that i still need their support at this age. that i can't even get my car's aircon fixed when at this age, i'm already supposed to be buying a new one for myself. my parents gave me a comfortable life and i want to be able to give that back.

i want to sacrifice my comfort now. not just for myself but for the people i love. i have to set my idealism aside for now. if i don't do this soon, it's going to be too late. i'm not getting any younger and i feel that i'm almost past my prime.

but job hunting drains so much energy out of me! during the break, i was so anxious about my future so i ended up submitting my resume to so many companies. i thought most of them wouldn't notice me but i was wrong! i'm getting so many calls and invitations for interviews. not that i'm complaining, because i know other people would kill to even be invited. i'm just saying, I'M TIRED. i'm stupid for processing so many applications all at once.

i realize it's not really the technical exams or interviews that drain me, it's more of the interaction with so many different types of people. i'm still surprised how different we can all be. one day i'm talking to someone so normal and chill, the next day it's this eccentric, almost autistic type of person. or one day it's this super nice, welcoming CEO, but then i get a call from this recruiter telling me i don't deserve the salary i want. LOL. just the anticipation itself makes me so anxious. i'm so scared of answering my phone now. i don't even want to open my e-mail anymore.

when job hunting, it's either they make you feel like shit or you feel so validated. when someone smart tells you you did good with your interview, it's the best feeling EVER. but when this recruiter who totally doesn't know anything about your industry makes you feel you're not good enough, it's the most annoying feeling. because you're helpless and you have no choice if they can't understand you and let you go through the next step of the application.

anyway, i'll have til next week to decide. hoping i get the break that i need.

short cebu trip

i'm so thankful i have a cousin who needs to be in cebu a couple times a year so she can collect research data. i get to act like her assistant slash alalay without really doing anything except go to beaches with her and have a good time!

this week's cebu trip was short because we were there just to check on her samples and get some stuff shipped back. if our govt agencies really did their jobs efficiently and promptly, we would've flown back home with the samples. sad that it's delayed but at least my cousin will come back again soon and we can hang out again.

when in cebu, go to ayala mall!

such a pretty place! it looks a lot like UP Town center so it felt like home. the salad we had at cyma was amazing! funny i never eat at cyma in manila but i've been to the cebu branch twice.

another amazing resto we went to was maya mexican. we were lucky it was taco tuesday so all taco orders were buy 1 take 1. they have daily promos so it's nice to go any day of the week. i'd love to go back and eat there again because everything we ordered just tasted so good! the drinks menu looked interesting, too!

i'm normally easily scared of anything associated with death but this wall of skulls looked so interesting! that pink skull looks so cute!

march 3

hoarding is just another form of addiction. duterte might come after me. i'm trying to just be calm and not buy stuff anymore but i can't! i tried but i can't!

it's a big step for me to let go of some of my stuff and sell them. i honestly believe i don't need all the shades of nail polish in the world. i just want them all if i could. but i shouldn't! it's becoming unhealthy. i have plans of turning this into a productive outlet so hopefully it rolls out this year.

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how come blogger doesn't have a mobile app? don't they know how difficult it is to turn a laptop nowadays. everything is mobile!

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moyou's having a sale at the moment. again, i need to calm down and relax and not order anything.

moyou london kaleidoscopic collection 10 swatch

I couldn't sleep so I did a swatch of this Moyou London Kaleidoscopic 10 Plate.

I used Bundle Monster stamping polish and the big bling duo stamper from Born Pretty.

All the images are lovely but these regular sized images from Moyou are just too small for my thumb huhu. 

Jinio experience + Bundle Monster purchase

When I saw Bundle Monster's blogger collab plates with the unicorn design, I knew I just had to have it! Of course, I was hesitant because I didn't wanna go to the post office again and have an anxiety attack with the Customs officer, so I tried to register with Jinio because I wanted my package delivered door-to-door. To be fair, the QC post office employees have been very nice to me. It's just not convenient for me to skip work just to get my packages.

There are a lot of freight-forwarding services to choose from like LBC shipping cart or Johnny Air. But I've been reading negative reviews on these more popular companies so I decided to go with Jinio. I must say they were very efficient and on-time, I'm impressed! One of my packages was even delivered 1 week earlier. It's also a plus that they allow liquids to be shipped! (Nail polish lots, YES)

I've read reviews with shipping cart that when their purchases arrive at the warehouse, it doesn't reflect on the website even after a week. With Jinio, my purchases were reflected on their website the same day they received them.

Here's the tracker info for one of my packages.

Overall, I can say that Jinio is very reliable. The rates are reasonable also so for my next purchases I'm pretty much set on using Jinio. 

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The Bundle Monster Blogger Set 3 plates are just sooo cute that as soon as I opened my package I did some swatches. I also ordered the Star slinger polish set and I'm happy that I chose that because the colors go well with the patterns of the plate set. 

My boyfriend kind of made me upset the other day so he volunteered his nails for swatching. Haha. 

Mermaid nails

Unicorn nails

aliexpress first experience

I  tried ordering cheap stuff on Aliexpress just to test if I'll actually get my items. After almost 2 months(!), I finally got my package! To be fair, it's really usually not the fault of the seller when your local post office screws up. In my case, I ordered Sept 18, the package arrived at the QC post office October 21. One month waiting is OK, but when your post office screws up by not sending the notice immediately, that's the annoying part! I got my notice Nov.5 so that means the post office took 2 weeks just to send out the notice! Isn't it bad enough they don't deliver the parcel door-to-door?

I bought these cheap accessories that were only worth 6$ for 6 items. A dollar for a necklace really isn't bad at all! I'm also very pleased with the quality because I expected they would look cheaper. The seller used Singpost to ship my items. I think the transit time was OK, it's just that maybe the local shippers in China took time. My package was only dispatched October 5 even if the seller shipped them Sept.19, a day after I ordered.

In summary:
Sept.18 - Ordered and Paid
Sept.19 - Seller shipped
Oct.5 - Tracker says preparing to dispatch
Oct.21 - Package arrived at QC post office
Nov.5 - Notice was delivered
Nov.7 - I picked up my package (took me an hour in line)

If you're not patient, I don't recommend aliexpress. Unless of course you're willing to pay for expedited shipping. EMS is faster but I don't think I'm willing to deal with the crocodiles at the Pasay office. I know only big packages end up being stuck at their customs department but I don't want to risk it. The Customs officer in QC post is actually very nice and reasonable. I haven't seen anyone while I was in line who had a problem with their taxes.

Here's the link to the Aliexpress store that I bought from:
Xinyuan Jewelry Industrial

PMS

lol. there are just those days when everything seems so annoying and offensive that we lose control of our temper and lash out. i prefer to stay quiet usually, with a taste of passive aggressiveness, of course.